для stasv
Замполитов отменили, а дело их живет. Вот и вы- живее всех живых!
RR
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The following letter was written by a retired Qantas pilot to his former colleagues:
Dear All,
Please find enclosed a home study simulator course [HSSC] for those of you who still hunger for the romance and adventure of airline travel.
If you follow all the steps in this HSSC you will experience that 'Romance and Adventure.'
1] Do not go to bed
2] Sit in your most uncomfortable chair, preferably in a cupboard, for 9 or 10 hours facing a 4 foot wide panoramic photo of a flight deck
3] Have two or three noisy vacuum cleaners on high, out of sight but within hearing distance and operating throughout the night. If a vacuum cleaner fails, do the appropriate restart checklist
4] Halfway through your nocturnal simulator course, arrange for a bright spotlight to shine directly into your face for two or three hours, simulating flying eastbound into the sunrise
5] Have bland overcooked food served on a tray halfway through the night
6] Have cold cups of coffee delivered from time to time, and ask your spouse to slam the door frequently
7] At the time when you must heed nature's call, force yourself to stand outside the bathroom door for at least ten minutes, transferring your weight from leg to leg, teasing the discomfort. Don't forget to wear your hat.
8] Leave the cupboard after the prescribed nine or ten hours and turn on your sprinklers in the garden and stand out in the cold and "rain", for twenty minutes, simulating the wait for the crew car
9] Head for your bedroom, wet through and with your suitcase and flight bag. Stand outside the door till your wife gets up and leaves, simulating the wait while the maid makes up the hotel room
10] When your spouse inquires, 'Just what in the hell have you been doing?' just say, 'Recalling the allure of all night flying to romantic places.' as you collapse into bed
11] If you are a purist, make this a two-day trip instead of a turn-around, so do this two nights in a row. Above all 'Enjoy Yourselves.'
RegardsJim Retired.