http://youtu.be/aFeNZVTGI30
Голубой вагон (in English)

http://www.rumormillnews.com/c ...

:-)

Well, let's play the game.

The gray sea's so wide and so heavy,
High waves are around, my friend.
And on the instructions of Navy
We go far away off the land.
Oh, comrade I can't stand my watch anymore,
One stoker has said to his fellow.
You see there's no flame in my chamber at all
I can't do a steam boiler well, oh...

Pick up this one and propose your own. Any volunteers? :)

http://ru.wikipedia.org/wiki/Р ...

Auf Deck, Kameraden, all' auf Deck!
Heraus zur letzten Parade!
Der stolze Warjag ergibt sich nicht,
Wir brauchen keine Gnade!
An den Masten die bunten Wimpel empor,
Die klirrenden Anker gelichtet,
In stürmischer Eil` zum Gefechte klar
Die blanken Geschütze gerichtet!

http://www.nbcnews.com/travel/ ...

Auf Deck, Kameraden, all' auf Deck!..
------------------------------
Well, you definitely know that those verses has been originally written in German and _translated_ to Russian. Sounds like a surprise for most of Russians.
Anyway...

The tanks are rattling like a thunder,
The soldiers went for final fight.
And now they carried young commander
With head all broken outright.
His tank was hit by armour-piercer,
So say good-bye my dear crew.
Four silent corpses on the hull side
Will add to fair morning view...

Snafu

You are extremely gifted!))

Do you really think that it's my translation? No way... I just know how to use Google :)

Well, Snafu is cheating ;-p

(c) This is quite clever:
I didn’t think I was being forward by forwarding this to my “more forward and deeper thinking friend ”, who are certainly not as forward as me but I knew they would appreciate it !
I think a retired English Teacher was bored. THIS IS GREAT! No wonder immigrants struggle with the English language. This took a lot of work to put together!

1) The bandage was wound around the wound.

2) The farm was used to produce produce.

3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.

4) We must polish the Polish furniture.

5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.

6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.

7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.

8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.

9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

10) I did not object to the object.

11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.

13) They were too close to the door to close it.

14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.

15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.

16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.

17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.

18) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear..

19) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

20) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend? Let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France . Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth, beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which, an alarm goes off by going on.

English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all. That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.

PS. - Why doesn't 'Buick' rhyme with 'quick' ?

You lovers of the English language might enjoy this ..

There's a two-letter word that has more meanings than any other two-letter word, and that is 'UP.'

It's easy to understand UP, meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP ? At a meeting, why does a topic come UP? Why do we speak UP and why are the officers UP for election and why is it UP to the secretary to write UP a report?
We call UP our friends. And we use it to brighten UP a room, polish UP the silver; we warm UP the leftovers and clean UP the kitchen. We lock UP the house and some guys fix UP the old car. At other times the little word has real special meaning.People stir UP trouble, line UP for tickets, work UP an appetite, and think UPexcuses. To be dressed is one thing, but to be dressed UP is special. A drain must be opened UP because it is stopped UP. We open UP a store in the morning but we close it UP at night.

We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP! To be knowledgeable about the proper uses of UP, look the word UP in the dictionary. In a desk-sized dictionary, it takesUP almost 1/4th of the page and can add UP to about thirty definitions. If you areUP to it, you might try building UP a list of the many ways UP is used. It will takeUP a lot of your time, but if you don't give UP, you may wind UP with a hundred or more. When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP. When the sun comes out we say it is clearingUP.
When it rains, it wets the earth and often messes things UP .
When it doesn't rain for awhile, things dry UP.

One could go on and on, but I'll wrap it UP, for now my time is UP,so........it is time to shut UP! Now it's UP to you what you do with this email.

Thanks for this,Стервоточинка!

I think that after reading this email everyone can easily brush Up his/her English...;-)))

... and polish his/her Polish ;)))

Всем Доброго Дня!
I would be grateful if somebody could help me with the translation 'to go clear' and 'ever go clear' in this song.

It's four in the morning, the end of December
I'm writing you now just to see if you're better
New York is cold, but I like where I'm living
There's music on Clinton Street all through the evening.

I hear that you're building your little house deep in the desert
You're living for nothing now, I hope you're keeping some kind of record.

Yes, and Jane came by with a lock of your hair
She said that you gave it to her
That night that you planned TO GO CLEAR
Did you ever GO CLEAR?...
L Cohen

Hi Civil Pilot
I would rather think that drugs or alcohol addiction were involoved a lot and the appeal is that maybe he he has stopped using drugs or alcohol and became clear, or clean or free from the above.
The other possiblity is a Scientology reference. But I am not good at it.
Very often, the Author of the lyrics is the best reference.

My husband definition of the song:

I think it is a plaintive poem from a woman to a man in whom she's interested but the guy has moved out to Arizona or someplace in the desert. It also seems that he gave her the impression that he was leaving Jane AND New York -- or "getting clear" of them.

Now Jane completes this love triangle by dropping by with a lock of his hair. This makes the writer wonder if he really DID get clear of Jane because she knows that he's 'clear' of the depressing New York weather.

husband's)))

Hello, everybody! Sorry I was busy. Thanks for your help with explanation (I love this song, but it's a little difficult for me to understant its meaning exactly). Actually this letter from man to woman and I think Jane is their daughter, full version is available on YouTube: Famous Blue Raincoat - Leonard Cohen. Anyway Thank You.

SENIOR CITIZENS ARE THE NATION'S LEADING CARRIERS OF AIDS!!!




HEARING AIDS, BAND AIDS, ROLAIDS, WALKING AIDS, MEDICAL AIDS, GOVERNMENT AIDS.
and MOST OF ALL, MONETARY AIDS TO THEIR KIDS!


:-)

Speaking of aids...
--------------------------------------------
Do you sell 45-caliber guns?
Sure, here you go. We also have a large inventory of 22, 32 and 38.
No, I need 45.
For what?
To shoot cans on my backyard.
Shoot cans from 45? Are you sure?
Yes, I'm sure.
What kind of cans?
A lot of 'em. Mexicans, puertoricans...

and 45 Nousers))) - No Sir...

Civil Pilot
We listened to your song and reaction of my hubby is hilarious:

"So much for me as a romanticist! I thought it was a woman and the guy left. Turns out the guy misses the girl.

Booooooo!"

These 4 things happen right before a heart attack:

http://w3.newsmax.com/newslett ...

Like the status:
"People say that love is in every corner…gosh! maybe i’m moving in circles, then"

Ready for Christmas? There you are..

"There’s something about Christmas that makes everything seem a little bit more romantic. Eyes locking under the mistletoe, city streets illuminated with lights, roaring fires and snowy scenes... When the mulled wine’s been flowing and we’re all full of cheer, it may seem like a great idea to throw caution to the wind and indulge in a no-strings-attached festive fling. But before you embark on a Christmas love affair, consider some pros and cons.

The biggest potential problem with a Christmas love affair is always going to be that one party may not want the romance to end. Make sure you’re clear on the rules to avoid anyone getting hurt. And if you end up falling for your festive fling anyway, be honest about how you feel – you never know what the New Year may bring".(c)

Husband comes home drunk and breaks some crockery, vomits and falls down on the floor. Wife pulls him up and cleans everything.

Next day when he gets up he expects her to be really angry with him. He prays that they should not fight. He finds a note near the table.

"Honey, your favorite breakfast is ready on the table, I had to leave early to buy groceries. I'll come running back to you, my love. I love you.

Surprised, he asks his son, "What happened last night?"

Son replies, "When mom pulled you to bed and tried removing your boots and shirt. You were dead drunk and you said,

"Hey Lady! Leave Me Alone. I AM Married!!!"

Стервоточинка


Husband comes home drunk and breaks some crockery, vomits and falls down on the floor. Wife pulls him up and cleans everything.

Next day when he gets up he expects her to be really angry with him. He prays that they should not fight. He finds a note near the table.

"Honey, your favorite breakfast is ready on the table, I had to leave early to buy groceries. I'll come running back to you, my love. I love you.

Surprised, he asks his son, "What happened last night?"

Son replies, "When mom pulled you to bed and tried removing your boots and shirt. You were dead drunk and you said,

"Hey Lady! Leave Me Alone. I AM Married!!!"

___________________________________

Ващета такой анекдот был :-))

Where? Did not see it on this topic...

Пжлста :-) Не дословно конечно, но по смыслу :-)

Просыпается мужик со страшного бодуна, ничего не помнит, голова гудит. Оглядывается – лежит в своей постели, чистенький, на тумбочке стаканчик с водой и таблеточка аспирина. Поднялся – одежда чисто выглажена, порядок в квартире идеальный, на кухне щи дымятся, в духовке поросенок зажарен. Ходит обалдевший, ничего не понимает!
Заглядывает в комнату сына – тот сидит, уроки делает. Мужик:
- Сынок, что случилось-то? Что вчера было?
- Да ничего, папа, все как обычно…Приполз ты на карачках в 3 часа ночи, облевал коридор, в штаны наложил, потом за мамой со сковородкой гонялся…..
- А потом???
- А потом, когда мама тебя наконец уложила, стала раздевать, ты начал отбиваться и орать: «Уйди, с%ка, я женат!!!»

Wise men speak because they have something to say; fools because they have to say something.
(I love such idioms)

Me too, Snafu. I would even add that Wise men speak rather rare than every time,simply because thay need some time off to think...

If you beleive in Armageddon and it happens to arrive on 21st of December, then you might find it intersting to read justt another point of view in the article. Follow the link below:

http://travel.uk.msn.com/socia ...

The Jewish E L B O W
A Jewish grandmother is giving directions to her grown grandson who is coming to visit with his wife.

- You come to the front door of the apartment. I am in apartment 301 . There is a big panel at the front door. With your elbow, push button 301. I will buzz you in. Come inside, the elevator is on the right. Get in, and with your elbow, push 3. When you get out, I am on the left. With your elbow, hit my doorbell.

- Grandma, that sounds easy, but, why am I hitting all these buttons with my elbow? .........

- What? . . . .. .. You coming empty handed?

Wise Italian Grandfather

Why Italian Fathers and Grandfathers pass their handguns down through the family.

An old Italian man is dying. He calls his grandson to his bedside: Guido, I wan you lissina me. I wan you to take-a my chrome plated ..38 revolver so you will always remember me.

- But grandpa, I really do not like guns.. How about you leave me your Rolex watch instead?

- You lissina me, boy. Somma day you gonna be runna da business, you gonna have a beautiful wife, lotsa money, a big-a home and maybe a couple of bambinos.
Somma day you gonna come-a home and maybe finda you wife inna bed with another man.
Whatta you gonna do then? Pointa to you watch and say : Times up?

At any given moment:

FACT: 79,000,000 people are having sex - right now.
FACT: 58,000,000 are kissing.
FACT: 37,000,000 are relaxing after having sex.
FACT: 1 old person is reading this message.

You hang in there, sunshine. :-)

Well, this is the time when everyone is waiting for Christmas to come. Trees are decorated. Here is one of multiple options you might consider:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?f ...

The importance of speaking languages:

Семейная пара приезжает на курорт. Заезжают в номер.
Жена видит мышь и начинает вопить: "А-а-а-а! Мышь! Звони на ресепшн, у тебя с английским по лучше, а я - полный ноль".
Муж набирает:
-Hеllo.
-Hеllo.
-Do you know "Tom and Jerry"?
-Yes, I do.
-So... Jerry is here.

You know Dasher and Dancer
And Prancer and Vixen,
Comet and Cupid
And Donner and Blitzen.
But do you recall
The most famous reindeer of all? :)

The most famous reindeer of all? :)
*******
Could it be Rudolf-Red nose? ;-)

Could it be Rudolf-Red nose? ;-)
-------------------------------------
A b s o l u t e l y :)
Last weekend I stopped for half a day in Great Smoky Mountain National Park. And the only way to see the park in such short time frame is to take Great Smoky Mountain Railroad tour. That's what I did - but didn't realize that in December they replaces regular tours with Polar Express, packed with kids and their parents, which goes to the North Pole, right to the Santa's home. So I talked with kids a lot, drunk hot chocolate with cookies and learned a lot of Christmas songs, including this one :)

Rudolph, the red-nosed reindeer
had a very shiny nose.
And if you ever saw him,
you would even say it glows.

All of the other reindeer
used to laugh and call him names.
They never let poor Rudolph
join in any reindeer games.

Then one foggy Christmas Eve
Santa came to say:
"Rudolph with your nose so bright,
won't you guide my sleigh tonight?"

Then all the reindeer loved him
as they shouted out with glee,
Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer,
you'll go down in history!

10 things you might not know about Santa's grotto, then there you are:
http://travel.uk.msn.com/inspi ...

Afterparty English:
http://www.facebook.com/photo. ...

Amazing Recycled Orchestra:
https://www.youtube.com/watch? ...

Ru_levoy
It's phenomenal! )))If you could read it till the very end...:-))))

HNY:
http://www.jacquielawson.com/v ...

Ru_levoy!
This is the site that my husband uses for e-cards!)))))
Happy New Year and Yangi Yil Bilan!

2 Стерво-kiz

Happy New Year and Yangi Yil Bilan!
--------------------------------
Yangi yil :)
http://youtu.be/ywTALsHxfXQ