big sexy woman... usually the mother of a fire crotch, a whore and very cheap for sex.
marry anne is very nice.
really? Why?
She's cheap!
====
Wrong. Any other ideas? =)))))
=))))

Regarding the salary of Vet - a man, per week normally, but we can recalculate
for month.

Dear 0стровитянин, I suppose you're an aviator but right now you are under impressed by some kind of curious story. Please don't tantalize us. Let us know more about so fascinating branch as a veterinary.

Regarding Mary Ann.
The correct answer is: That was a nickname for housemaid in UK.
For a special kind of stupid girl who never doing her job properly.

Dear klg,
That time The Pou-nd was The Mon-ey com-pare to our time.
The spec-ialist with dip-loma had a sal-ary of TWO pou-nds a week only.
Not a lot in our days...

I am just curious - what word in the above message was prohibited by the filter?

0стровитянин
"Regarding Mary Ann...
...For a special kind of stupid girl who never doing her job properly."
--------------------
On the other hand...
http://chenikh.livejournal.com ...
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/L ...

"That time The Pou-nd was The Mon-ey com-pare to our time."
--------------------------------------------
I agree with you completely. A cow, at the begining of the last age in Russia, could cost about 5 roubles.
But what about an old Enlish vet story? :)

2 klg

About Vet story? Nothing. Just to remind about the meaning of tuppence in even earlier days.

Regarding Mary Ann.
Funny in LJ =))) But still it was a nickname for stupid housemaid.
Actually every humanbeing has something inside. =)))

I am terribly sorry, Oleg, for my "wrong" guesses(((
Every time I am trying to crack down the puzzles I have to struggle with the urge not to go that "far" beyond certain mentality, while the answers are proved to be so simple))))
To be honest I like playing around a bit to attract other members of the club to a discussion, a kind of debating type)))

I am terribly sorry, Oleg, for my "wrong" guesses(((
===
Why? Questions are not so easy.
At all! Ask for example an average british about Mary Ann.
Majority will keep silence.

Regarding Mary Ann.
The correct answer is: That was a nickname for housemaid in UK.
For a special kind of stupid girl who never doing her job properly.
**********
My husband has just confirmed that he has never heard about it in his life)))Perhaps it was a private matter)))

and I have a question too! And my question is: why Royal NAVY officers can drink not standing up even when Her Majesty the Queen is nearby?

a definition: drink to the queen.

Стервоточинка |
Is is the Loyal Toast you are talking about?


-It was impossible to stand upright “between decks” except between the beams, so consequently only every third person would have been unable to stand erect.

- The table was often fixed to the deck against a settee, so it would have been impossible for half the officers to stand with any degree of dignity.

But perhaps there are other reasonable explanations)))you never know these days)))

why Royal NAVY officers can drink not standing up even when Her Majesty the Queen is nearby?
08/07/2010 [22:38:17]
====
There are several versions of that.
Couple applies for lack of room.
But I prefer the version of The King George when He told : "Gentlmen, pray be seated. Your loyalty is above suspicion".
Navy is always - Navy. =)))

There is a funny story which explains the background, why trousers of Russian seamen have original flap instead of conventional fly. :-) Weird it's also correlates to the royal person: Peter the I...

"it's also correlates" should be taken as: "it's also correlated" or "it also correlates" :-)

why trousers of Russian seamen have original flap instead of conventional fly.
=====
The most real version is that The Tsarina ordered this flap personally.
Taking care of the seamen's health. =))))
But she was thinking not about The Dick but about absolutely opposite thing.
=)))))

Hi Everybody!
It's Elena again (a newcomer :))
Speaking about seamen) my colleague told me the joke yesterday.
The grandmother was sharing her experience with granddaughter:
You know, dear, everybody should have ONE BIG LOVE in their life..."
"Granny, did you have a BIG LOVE in your life?"
"Oh, sure, dear! My BIG LOVE was seamen...")))))))


(May be for somebody this BIG LOVE is pilots ;)))))

Have a nice Friday evening, friends!

Second attempt.

Mila Love:

Your answer is the most correct, but I also (and my hubby) LOVE the version of 0стровитянин.

MSL
Don't know that much about the peculiatity of seamen's outfits)))

For God's sake!!!!
Translating of "Go ahead" in radio conversation as: "Приезжайте!".
!@#$%^&*()

Hi to all!
Translation could be very ridiculuos and depends on many factors))))...and to be honest it could be also very boring(((

So to divert from mistakes in translations let's see the "interpretion" of abbreviations...
There we go:

Acronyms for International Airlines

Italy

ALITALIA = Always Late In The Air, Late In Arrival

ALITALIA = Arrived Late In Turin, And Luggage In Australia

Britain

BOAC = Better on a camel

Belgium

SABENA = Such A Bloody Experience Never Again

Pakistan

PIA = Please, Inform Allah

Yugoslavia

JAT = Joke About Time

Pacific Western Airlines

PWA = Pray While Aloft

PWA = Please Wait Awhile ....Airlines


11/07/2010 [14:22:14]

A kind of humour in aircraft maintenance...

(P) = Problem (S) = Solution
******************
(P) Left inside main tire almost needs replacement

(S) Almost replaced left inside main tire
******************
(P) Test flight OK, except autoland very rough

(S) Autoland not installed on this aircraft
******************
(P) Something loose in cockpit

(S) Something tightened in cockpit
******************
(P) Evidence of leak on right main landing gear

(S) Evidence removed
******************
(P) Dead bugs on windshield

(S) Live bugs on order
******************
(P) Autopilot in altitude hold mode produces a 200 fpm descent

(S) Cannot reproduce problem on ground

An airline captain was breaking in a very pretty new blonde stewardess. The route they were flying had a stop-over in another city, so upon their arrival, the captain showed the stewardess the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop and stay overnight.

The next morning as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day's route, he noticed the new stewardess was missing. He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up wondering what happened to her. She answered the phone, sobbing, and said she couldn't get out of her room.

"You can't get out of your room?" the captain asked, "Why not?"

The stewardess replied, "There are only three doors in here, "she cried," one is the bathroom, one is the toilet, and one has a sign on it that says 'Do Not Disturb'!"

(P) Dead bugs on windshield

(S) Live bugs on order
------------------------
Each time I have to ask mechanics for cleaning a windshield from those bugs. They do it as if I borrowed money.

Hi MSL

They (the mechanics) probably know this saying...))))

I suspect they are just a lazy bunglers :)

Joke from the internet:
As soon as Anna Chapman (cute Russian spy) landed in Moscow, Vladimir Putin personally de-briefed her … then de-bra her.

Excellent!!!!)))))))))))))

Hi to all!
Quiet...
However we have a quiery from another thread
"может Вам ещё и ключи от квартиры где деньги лежат"?

I couldn't find something adequate but only this one
"Should I trust You with the keys from the safe?"...

2 MSL
Hi Dm. , accept pls my sincere apology for the abnormally extended approach you had to perform the day before yesterday. I was me who worked for "Approach" and commanded that you maintain 5100 from MB till NG and then descend via too extended right-hand pattern. Alas, it was inevitable. Our "old buddy" DRL-7SM eventually has gone but the "new" Ekran-85 hasn't been properly certified yet so that we could have it been put into operation. As a result, from now on till the mid of September (probably) we are to deal with the traffic without having any RL information. Blind as moles, we'll have to mumble just QDR and QDM, asking you for telling us your distance from the field. Only one aircraft at a FL/H.
Special apology for the long taxi route to the stand. The Tower controller failed to quickly catch the idea you suggested. Your "Why such long ways today?" was something which made me feel ashamed for our changed service especially keeping in mind your previous words on the "airport's hospitality". Just would like to hope that all that isn't going to last longer than the deadline mentioned.

Hi to everybody.
Dropped in to add a missing character.

"... the day before yesterday. IT was me who worked for "Approach" ..." )

Hi, NN and everybody!

2 NN
I'm astonished by your commitment to do your best for crews convenience. My respect. But it wasn't me who complained about the "long ways" :-). In fact I haven't been to Nizhny on July 14th. The more my English communication has been shut down for a while (due to reason I described above) unfortunately... But I suspect I know who It was :-) I suppose, there are no grounds for excuses in the situation you've described. You did what you must have done.

PS. The absolute majority of pilots I now (including myself) actually respect ATCs very much. And we rely on them. As for me particularly, I believe It's necessary to be a real superman to control Moscow TMA on the rush our.

A joke to make you smile:

2 mathematicians were having dinner in a restaurant, arguing about the average mathematical knowledge of the American public. One mathematician claimed that this average was woefully inadequate, the other maintained that it was surprisingly high.
"I'll tell you what," said the cynic, "ask that waitress a simple math question. If she gets it right, I'll pick up dinner. If not, you do." He then excused himself to visit the men's room, and the other called the waitress over.
"When my friend comes back," he told her, "I'm going to ask you a question, and I want you to respond `one third x cubed.' There's twenty bucks in it for you." She OK-ed.

The cynic returned from the bathroom and called the waitress over. "The food was wonderful, thank you," the mathematician started. "Incidentally, do you know what the integral of x squared is?"
The waitress looked pensive; almost pained. She looked around the room, at her feet, made gurgling noises, and finally said, "Um, one third x cubed?"
So the cynic paid the check. The waitress wheeled around, walked a few paces away, looked back at the two men, and muttered under her breath, "...plus a constant."

From Ireland where driving while under the influence is considered a sport, comes this story. (Only the Irish could think of this).
Recently a routine police patrol was parked outside a bar in Donegal Town. After last call, the officer noticed a man leaving the bar so apparently intoxicated that he could barely walk. The man stumbled around the parking lot for a few minutes, with the officer quietly observing.

After what seemed an eternity, in which he tried his keys on five different vehicles, the man managed to find his car and fall into it. He sat there for a few minutes as a number of other patrons left the bar and drove off.

Finally he started the car, switched the wipers on and off; it was a fine, dry summer night, flicked the blinkers on and off a couple of times, honked the horn and then switched on the lights. He moved the vehicle forward a few inches, reversed a little, and then remained still for a few more minutes as some more of the other patrons' vehicles left.

At last, when his was the only car left in the parking lot, he pulled out and drove slowly down the road. The police officer, having waited patiently all this time, now started up his patrol car, put on the flashing lights, and promptly pulled the man over and administered a breathalyser test.

To his amazement, the breathalyser indicated no evidence that the man had consumed any alcohol at all! Dumbfounded, the officer said, 'I'll have to ask you to accompany me to the police station. This breathalyser equipment must be broken.'

'I doubt it,' said Paddy , truly proud of him self. 'Tonight I'm the designated decoy!

2 Mila
LOL :-)))))

Hi to all!
Nice to hear from you MSL and NN!
I have enjoyed your courtesy communication exchange!

Hi, Mila!
Well, we are in the English club after all. A kind of noblesse oblige, you know :-)

Hi again!
It looks like ))))
So Ladies and gentlemen, what are we doing today?
As for me, I am just trying to relax and start thinking about the Holiday))))Only 4 working days before I would probably say " I am... on summer holiday" at last!"

Oh Mila, lucky you are... Unfortunately I can't afford to think about the rest. Leaving to work now.

Never mind, MSL! Your holiday is ahead, one day!)))
Good luck!

MSL

... As for me particularly, I believe It's necessary to be a real superman to control Moscow TMA on the rush our.
______________________________

I've never ever heard anything more pleasant about ATC. Doing our best whenever possible.

Mila Love

Hi to all!
Nice to hear from you MSL and NN!
I have enjoyed your courtesy communication exchange!
_____________________

Did it several times over the course of my career. A bit different way, though - looked up in Internet to find a certain person and wrote a personal letter. Most colleagues'll think that I'm crazy.

Hi ATC!
So nice to hear from you, you know)))
Well, there are no exactly the same patterns as to improve your English. Some people might even do it your way. Why not? If you get a reply I am sure you will feel thrilled. So there is nothing wrong with it. Writing as well as speaking are the toughest skills as it requires a bit more than just reading and working with a dictionary.

I have made my mind at last and started learning Spanish...))) with a native speaker...

Was that about me? I meant a letter of apology from me as a controller to a pilot as a pilot. I used to write a lot when I had no computer - good practice, you're right - now when we have e-mail etc. at the speed of sound we wait months before we reply. So no speeding up in communication in digital era - for me, at least.

Sorry, ATC, but it seems that I have misunerstood you completely))))
What an idiot!!!
All is well that ends well. I love writing myself and I think that we are losing this precious skill as writing letters to other people. It's much simplier and post free to send an email or SMS rather than a letter or a postcard;-))))

A postcard is such a rarity nowadays. I so exited when I get one for Xmas from the U.K.

If you wish I will send you one ;-)))))